Yes yes, let the excitement and craziness stream out because we are BEYOND happy. It honestly just feels like a dream come true. After our miscarriage earlier this year the idea of having a baby and wanting a baby became very real to us. Though we had planned on not trying to get pregnant until after Jared was in dental school things changed drastically when we realized that we actually did want a baby and the sooner the better.
That reality check was hard to swallow because our entire life plan was totally up in the air – and honestly, the timing wasn’t up to us. That was the biggest reality check to swallow. God truly does have a unique and humorous timing with most things and this was no different. It was probably the pregnancy hormones from the miscarriage but I was desperately consumed with wanting a child. It hurt so bad that the one thing I desired to be, a mother, was taken from me and I wanted it back. We tried it all. Read all the books, took temperatures, basically ran our sex life like the only reason we were making love was to conceive. And after about 2 months of that we were done. It was so stressful and heartbreaking every month when I would pee on the stick and it would be negative. So, essentially we tossed in the towel. Left timing up to God and just… lived our lives. And wouldn’t you know it, but the very month we gave up was the month God blessed us with a beautiful baby.
I remember watching those lines appear on the test thinking to myself, no way, no freaking way. And when it finally was done processing and that little stick was screaming “You’re pregnant!” I totally lost my mind. I’m sort of embarrassed to think of it now ha, but there were a lot of F words and crying and smiling and more F words. I calmed down enough to go pick Jared up from school where I basically contained the good news for like… 20 seconds? Regardless, it was still magical and spiritual and genuinely touching, I don’t think I ever cried so much praising God and exclaiming His name.
Now we are a few months down the road and today marks the end of the 1st trimester! (Praise God!) I definitely had my fair share of morning sickness, not exactly the greatest phenomena on Earth, and lots and lots of food aversions. In fact, Jared was my biggest aversion for about 2 weeks. Something about his musk or something. It was actually all together very sad, he was always trying to comfort me in my constant heaving and I couldn’t stand to be anywhere near him because his smell just made the nausea worse ha.
But we are all past that now. I am eating like a food junkie… currently my favorite treat to myself is sour gummy worms… don’t ask, I don’t know why. My loving husband, however, is doing an excellent job of making sure I’m healthy and eating right. I’m still exercising and practicing yoga, just a lot less frequently.. still trying to get back into it after months of throwing up.
I even have a bump now 🙂 And no, none of my pants fit, a whole new world I am not accustomed to.
Now that you’re all caught up I just wanna say thanks. I know that so many of you, friends, family, and strangers, have been praying for us in our struggle and my heart leaps for joy to know that God is a promise keeper and everything really is in His perfect timing. You all mean so much to me and I’m so excited to bring our baby into a world with so many wonderful people.
God is good, praise be to Him who is mighty.